Sleep, Glorious Sleep

We have a lot riding on this sleep machine.

To hear us tell it, it'll fix our housework woes, save us loads of money, help us lose weight, and make us nicer, kinder, gentler people.

And I'm only slightly kidding.

We know that we're starting to sound like a late-night infomercial -- this will change your life! -- but everything we're reading and everyone Ms. P has talked to who's gone through it themselves suggests that it's actually true. Oh, sure, it's not going to help Ms. P actually notice and think about the dishwasher (the bane of her existence), but not being completely sleep-deprived is likely to make her more able to tolerate doing housework even if she doesn't like it. She's not likely to suddenly become supermodel-thin, but getting actual sleep is going to have an effect on her metabolism and her appetite and thus her weight. If she's got energy when we come home from work, she'll cook dinner, and we won't eat out as much and we'll save a lot of money.

The thing is, none of these are outrageous desires and none are even outrageous expectations. If we can eat at home during the week, if Ms. P has a little energy to spare, if she's feeling less hungry and more able to move around in the world, all of these things are likely to happen.

But it's also humbling to see just how many things in our lives have been affected by this problem. Her moods have been pretty well controlled by her meds, but it's a shallow control -- missing even one dose can sink her a little bit, and any stress at all makes her voices act up. Because she expends so much energy holding it together out there, she tends to fall asleep on me during time we spend together, which makes me feel kind of abandoned and taken for granted. If she's sleeping, she's not likely to be wrecked by a day trip or even a weekend at the Farm, not like she has been, which will make me less cranky about the whole thing.

It's not a magic bullet, not quite, but it's close.

And it means that, right now, we're in a holding pattern. What's the point of struggling around housework right now when we could just wait and get sleep and try again? What's the point of going grocery shopping and trying to eat at home when we know just how exhausted we're going to be?

That's not to say I don't have some fears around this, too. If Ms. P is sleeping more and having actual energy, will she use it to be with me, or will she spiral off into increased overcommitment? If this doesn't help the housework problem, what the hell are we going to do?

But for the moment, we're spending a fair amount of time fantasizing about what it will be like when we're actually getting sleep. And after what appears to be years on end of being woken up many times an hour, we can probably handle someone's infancy.

Comments

[dale]

I just read a great book by a man with the unfortunate name of Dement called "the Promise of Sleep." Convinced me that sleep problems are on an epidemic scale in the modern world. Worth reading, I think, even though it sounds like with your magic machine you'll be well on your way.

[Qira]

Hm. Definitely sounds like a book I should pick up. Thanks, Dale!

[Pronoia]

Oh, good to know. I'll add it to my library list!

[krupskaya]

I'm one of those with a CPAP machine that worked so well that I use it now maybe twice a year when my tonsils or soft palate is irritated. It took a night or two for me to get used to but the difference it made was amazing, and I'm hoping the same goes for Ms. P. It also made my blood pressure go down; apparently apnea can cause high blood pressure. Good luck.

[Qira]

I didn't realize that that could happen -- how awesome!

[Ms. P]

...counting down the hours until I get to talk to the doctor...