I am once again having problems with E. (Relevant backstory here, here, and here.) After we had the fight at the beginning of January (and how junior high is this, anyway?), I re-sent an email I had written and he had not answered to try to start the conversation again. He said he was in no condition to deal with things right then and we should both cool off. I sent him an email telling him the ball was in his court.
He emailed me about it this past Friday. And the entire content of his message consisted of an off-handed invitation to "get together." To do what? to deal with what? under what assumptions? Still no answer to all of the questions I laid out in the email, and no indication that "getting together" would deal with them.
Yes, six weeks later. It doesn't exactly make me feel like he's showing up for the hard work it would take for us to actually become friends. And how much do I want to be friends with someone if it's going to take such hard work? I keep asking myself.
I'm am trying to challenge myself to not be all-or-nothing about this. Instead of either ignoring him / telling him to fuck off (sorely tempted) or capitulate and meet him when that's the last thing I want to do, I sent him an email saying I don't think meeting is a good idea, that I suspect we aren't going to be friends and that he doesn't want to do the work we'd have to do, and that I'm willing to talk on email if he'd like to do so.
Like zits, I once thought these kinds of struggles were part of adolescence and that they'd go away once I got to be a grownup. I thought it was one of the perks of having to be all responsible and shit. But like the shiny red dot on my nose, here I am, all grown up, and still spotty and struggling with friends.
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